So many questions, not enough answers
April 11, 2021
"Where did I come from?" "Do I have brothers and sisters?" "Do they know about me?" "Was my existence kept a secret?" "Do they want to see me?" "Do they think about me?" Those questions have followed me every day throughout this journey. In the Summer of 2018, after digging deeper into my adoption paperwork, I found out that my birth mother had previously given birth to three children. I was her fourth child. Did she keep those children? If so, why did she give me up? I have so many questions and no answers. I stare impatiently at my inbox every day waiting for an e-mail and I keep thinking the next long distance phone call is someone from the Philippines. But it's usually a telemarketer or spam call. I know I have siblings out there, somewhere in the world, but do they know about me? Does my birth mom ever wonder about what became of that little boy she gave up for adoption 34 years ago? I think about those questions often. I hope to have the answers soon. But who knows when that will be. I just can't lose hope...